im about as happy as oj after his trial
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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