I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
