mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Drunk is a universal language darling
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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