is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
