U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
wow bdsm is so cute
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