Ambien. No doubt about it.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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