Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize