I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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