yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
