Me. At least after what I've been through.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
