She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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