I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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