No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
