marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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