She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
