FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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