Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
