I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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