ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
