I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
