Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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