There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
