Please, let me fuck your mom
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
