Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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