I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
