i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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