Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
