so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you would pick up someone in the library
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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