i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
