just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize