butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
