Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
