Whod you bang
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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