Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
