I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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