I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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