Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
