it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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