i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
