Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
