In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
