I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
