There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
vagina is talking i cant
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
