I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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