Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Your cock deserves a montage
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
