we're blogging at a bar
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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