So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
