i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize