she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize