yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize