don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
