He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
