We're like a lot better than the average bears
youre lurking in front of me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
