I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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