just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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