then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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