if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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