I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
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