I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
