Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
