the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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