Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
